Why am I so unhappy?
Why am I so jealous of those who I should be happy for?
Why am I so angry. All the time?
Why do I never do the things I really want to do?
Why do I feel alone even when I am surrounded?
Why can't I see outside the worst?
Why couldn't I beautiful? Be noticed? Be adored?
Why couldn't I be fearless like I want to be?
Why can't I forgive and be forgiven?
Why can't I have money instead of all this empty longings?
Why can't I feel love the way others do?
Why do I feel so lost even when I think I've finally found some bearings?
Why don't I have talent or something that makes me feel worthwhile?
Why does everyone who I love leave me?
Why can't I stop thinking about ending my life?
Why can't I get over my past?
Why can't I stop killing myself about my future?
Why does everything I let myself trust in fall apart on me?
Why can't I just stop worrying and allow myself to be who I actually am and not who I wish I was?
Please lord relieve me from all this. Please save me. Please please save. I do not know my way the out of myself. I do not know if I will survive these inner battles. Will you love me when even when I've give up? Will love me when I am nothing? Will you love me even when I don't believe in anything but death? Will you love even when I give up on you?
I am sick inside and I am terrified I will never get well.
you are freakin deep Christina West. Oh God, if only if only you could see yourself from outside of yourself and how magic you are. Your thoughts, your words, are so powerful, so unique, so truthful. You know why I say truthful. Because every single person in this world feels the way you do at times, sometimes all of the time, but no one has the guts to admit it. To themselves or others. God is hearing you. Your way out is on it`s way.
ReplyDeleteAnd it may just be right inside yourself.