Winners for Losers

So it's Saturday. The day of sleeping in and lazing around till party time. For me I was guilt tripped into coming to work for a weekend shift, which means at a clothes store, literally a shift from hell. If you can imagine combining mountain piles of clothes, bitchy people, and a fitting room line longer than an elephant's toliet paper roll after he's wiped his ass, then you'd have a pretty good idea of my day. Oh by the way if I didn't mention where I work I'll tell you now. I work at a place where they pay just above minimum slave labor. Seriously. They also have the biggest earnings as part of a multi millionaire corporate company. I work where the biggest losers go. I work at Winners.

Yes I aware of the irony. Or pun. Or whatever the fuck it is that makes me realize that truly Winners is for losers. But I work there. I also loathe it to the point where I actually in my mind, planned to burn the fucker down just so I wouldn't have to come in for work. Either that or I fantasize about punching the lights out of my fago boss, smashing the jewelry counter, and runing away with my loot. Needless to say I obviously haven't actually done any of that seeing as I still work at the place.

I can't help it. Every morning we have these group meetings or "huddles" before the store opens. They talk about what needs doing that day or where we're slacking. Basically all the bullshit the managers say to look like they have a role before I see them go back to their office and eat donuts and go on facebook. To say I'm exaggerating this corrupt system would be untrue. I've passed the door many a time to see them get real acquainted with Tim Hortons and discussing real important issues like "Rebecca just tried Vietnamese food downtown." Apparently she doesn't try new foods too often. Oh. My. God. Really? Holy fuck that is sooooo amazing! I came down to work at 7 am in the rain on a Saturday, but if this Rebecca tried some asian food lets fucking throw a party!

The worst part about these so called "huddles" other than just the critical lazy asses hypocritical speeches about "work ethic", but the outcome predictions and previous earning stats. For those who don't know what I mean basically the head office counts up the earnings made from the previous day for our store, and then based on that figure, makes a earnings goal for the next day. I stand there trying to not scream when they tell me, "Oh yeah we only hit 32 000 yesturday, so let's really push hard today to make sure we reach our 35 000 minimum!" And they all grin and high five and clink reading glasses with eachother. I just try and hold a fake ass enthusiatic smile while in my head I'm thinking, Well on the wages you pay me shit dicks, I could probably make 32 000 in about 5 million years. 


I still think that is probably the stupidest thing for a store to do. Telling their minimum wage employees about the thousands of dollars they're making? That's like bringing a alcoholic into a bar and then telling him he can't have a drink. Or a white rich kid going into a black ghetto wearing diamonds. Seriously. Fucking stupid.

I talked to Karen about it. She's the only chick at work who's around my age and has enough brains to see my point.

Oh and then the cherry on the ice cream is that I finally had enough balls to corner my head boss today. I've actually been waiting to speak to him since the store talked about cutting hours because "insufficient funds." Coincidentally enough around that week my boss got vacation pay for a month in Europe. Hmm this doesn't quite connect the dots eh?

Anyways since I've been a good little girl for a year now working at this shit hole I made up in my mind to just ask for a raise. I mean they sure as hell weren't giving me anything, and they probably wouldn't unless I asked. So I finally just bit the bullet and asked him. After pleading my case and using evidence he still just kinda looked away and basically said, "We'll see." I had heard this phrase many times growing up. Once I was five and decided the only thing that would make me happy was a pony. When I asked my father if he could pretty please get me a pretty pony for   "ma birfday"  he gave me that same avoiding look and same answer "We'll see". I never got a pony. I got a Return of Jafar Aladdin movie from the dollar store with the sticker still on the back. What can we learn from this then? Basically "We'll see" is code for "Try NEVER sucker!"

So I again left Winners fantasizing about tearing that fucking building down, only this time I varied the scenario a bit. This time I brought ninjas in with me to tie the management down and kung fu there asses while I let them watch me pour gasoline on the racks. Yes I am trying to see a therapist.......NOT.


I came home and ate a big fattie dinner becuase when life gets you down, eat your feeling away I say. I noticed anything with chocolate or fat in it usually blocks out the most.  I also watched the Canucks game to which we.....lost. Big shocker there. Although I thought the Canucks were bad when they lost to another team, but since tonight they scored on themselves, I have to admit they're taking suckass to a new level!

Again not a very interesting post. But hey if you had an interesting life you won't be reading this krap anyways. The morals of today
1. Stealing is not okay. UNLESS it's from big corporate money grubbing industries
2. When feeling depressed, lousy, tired, irritated, pissed, defeated, or stressed, resort to food. Or Purple kush.

Somehow I don't think I'd have any good lessons for childrens books.