Renouncing Kid, Sipping Adult.

I went to my first official club last night. And it was weird. And it was awesome. And it was mind blowingly crazy.

It's called Celebrities, and it's on Davie street in downtown Van. And for those who aren't Vancouverites, you won't clue in to the fact that anything on Davie street is Gay. The rainbow colored flags on each light pole, the thousands of hairdressers, and even a shop called "Erotic Dreams" for those with fetishes is present on Davie street. I love it all :)

The thing is Gay is happening. And also very stylish. So I'm no homo hater.

Plus the Gay guys are always nice to look at. Straight men should take some fucking grooming lessons from Homos. Maybe then they's learn nasty, stinky, and baggy ass is NOT hot in any form of clothing.

At 7pm my best friend Ali and I were both showered, spritzed, hair straightened, and bedazzled to full slut mode. I had on this little black dress with lace cups and a hemline short enough for heart attacks. Plus it fit my like a clothing condom and actually made me look like I had boobs (a fucking impossible thing seriously). Ali, who rarely gets dressed up had shocking opened her hobo jacket to reveal a black pencil skirt and blue frilly tank top. Very sexy chique. I told her I was impressed in my own fucked up way of speaking what I want to say.

" If I was Gay I'd totally hit on you" -me

"Thanks. I think."- Ali

Luckily Ali knows me well enough to laugh and understands the sentiment behind my weirdness.

Now at this point we were going to have to bus and skytrain for two hours. Dressed like hookers. But eventually I convinced Ali to drive us there. It took gas money to convince her.

Going there I was nervous. What if it sucked. What if I look to slutty? Too dressed up. Too young?

I had only partied illegally at people homes till now. It felt weird to actually be in a club where it's expected to drink and party. And legally too.

Since I still haven't had the will or time to get my drivers license (yes I am lame) I had to bring my passport for I.D check. Like I was fucking going to the border HA. I kept thinking what if they turn me away? Like I was guilty or using a fake ID. It just sunk in a little slowly. When we passed the bouncers and walked down the hall to this low lit dance floor and massive bar room it finally clicked. I am 19. I am 19.

I've been a kid for so long, watching my older sister getting ready for Saturday night partying, listening around the corner as my brother and his friends pre-drank before heading to a rave. I just always thought it was some kind clique I would never get in. But hey I am. And ordering my first margarita over the glowing bar and flirting with the cute blonde bar tender, I smiled knowing I'm in. FINALLY.

The dj was good. But mostly random beats music that tries to sound rave-ish but gets wayyyy too repetitive after awhile. But at around 11 it got more dance music. And loud. To the point where I actually covered my ears. So me and Ali and Cheyenne and the girls all danced. Like it hadn't been years, I loved it. I was so into the music I actually stomped. And grinded. And whiped my sweaty hair around like a lasoo. The smoke machine started blowing, making me lost and hidden in  it's  clouds. I felt unntouchable and very far away from being reserved. I danced like a slut. I couldn't help it. Give me rave music and heavy beats, and I'll give you a very wild girl. We only stopped dancing for piss breaks. Other than that we were on the dance floor the whole night.

 Stupidly I was wearing my fav hooker heels (which also happened to be 4 inches high)  and so by the end of the night I couldn't walk. My feet literally felt broken and bruised. But fuck it. It was worth it. Plus as satisfaction I saw one of my brother's old friends at the club. The last time I had last seen him I was tailing after him and my brother in a puppy dog t-shirt. Basically when I wanted to be noticed but was too small to notice.

I went up to him, and screamed "CODY?" over the borderline deafining music. He looked at me with narrowed eyes, trying to place me. After a moment he realized who I was and his eye widened to the size of golf balls. "TINA?" he asked unsure and shocked. We hugged and squealed like only mid drunks can. We talked briefly. Which I had done on purpose to look allusive and important. I think it had that affect. Cause for an hour or two later I could sense his gaze on my back while I kept dancing with my friends.

It just felt nice to finally impress someone. To shock them. To blow their image of you. Get a fresh beginning. Or at the very least a stare. I felt good. The dancing. The music. Yes even the three Long Islands and one margarita were helping. Although not my stomach. Just my set of mind. I was letting loose for the first time in a long time. I could see why people go out every weekend. Because even though I was renouncing kid, I was sipping adult. I wished I could feel that sexy all the time. That unleashed. But like every good night it ended. Going to bed exhausted and still buzzing, all I thought was yummm, tomorrow is sleep in Saturday. I slept in till 1.

Note to self: If going out, make sure no work shifts are scheduled before noon.