Just don't know

Oh ma, the feelings you push in and out of me.
Like waves they come. Soft and gentle, then rough and surging.
It scares me how delicate I am in your palm.
Like an ant you can direct me anywhere with the swipe of your hand.
I am trying to understand but all I hear is the infinite, so loud and yet no real sound.
This sound reverberates in my heart and it hurts to listen.
It tell me you must find out who you are.
It tells me to find my passion
Find love
Find solid ground
But how ma?
How?
I want to be in love with life. Free and beautiful and wonderful.
Do you hear me?
I don't want something
I want to be me.
Can you tell me who that is
Because I don't know anymore.
I just don't know.

So Simple

Yesturday I realized life is beautiful.
I slept in. I cleaned my home and was happy to do it. I went jogging along the park in the sun, the trees making little shutter speed shadows between the sky and me. I breathed in deeply and smiled up at the sun and just said thank you aloud, to someone but I don't even know who.
I took time on my meal and ate it on the porch steps.
I went on into the city filled to the brim with people on Canada Day. I met friends and talked about boys and school times.
I made hooting noises with the crowd as we stared in awe at the night fireworks.
So simple. Nothing big. But so beautiful because I was nowhere but right where I was. I was present. And I was so happy in the beauty of being saturated in that moment.
Why don't people do that more?