Useless Lists

Today I was bored. And when I'm bored I tend to ignore all the pressing responsibilites in my life and do trivial stupid things like surf the internet or make up useless lists in my head. Right now I should be worrying about my future career plans and moving to a new place, but instead I spent the day sleeping, eating, and now writting down one of my lists. It passed through my mind today how hard or how many anchors there are if you're a woman verses being a man. Then to try and balance my naturally cynical side I also thought of the good things (although their are damn few) about being a woman instead of a man.

So here goes
CONS:
1. Periods. Fucking nuff said. Pain. Blood. Can't wear white. Abstaining from sex. The assinine men who even when you're not on your period but are angry they ask the dumbass question," Are you on your period or something?"

2. Maintaining beauty. We shave. We Tweeze. We wax our crotches.We buy cosmetics. We use cosmetics. Hair dyes. False Eyelashes. Lipsticks. Mascara. Eyeliner. Perfumes. Tight clothes. Bras. Thongs. Even fucking nail polish cuz our nails have to be pretty too!  And then we all swoon and fight over these guys who roll out of their beds in the same baggy ass clothes and greasy hair every day.

3. Media Pressure. With so many models and gorgeous female stars out there we are all lusting to look just like them. So...unless your 80 pounds, 6 feet, with D cup boobs and long blonde hair you're fucked. Fantastic.

4. The night fear factor. By that I mean women, no matter where they are, even if it's a safe city have to be aware and careful walking around at night. We always have to keep that danger of a someone attacking us in the back of our minds walking alone in the dark. Particularly a guy. Where as boys can walk around with no fear or bother at all. Because I mean even if women raped men I can't really see them complaining. Can you hear it now...
The Victim- "Your Honor, this hot blonde girl totally took advantage of me and jumped on top of me, trying to rip off my clothes!
The Judge- "And this would be a problem because....?"

5. Procreation. Bun in the oven. Giving Birth. However you want to call it. Yes I know babies are cute and we all want them but what does the man do after the sex part. The woman has to eat well, carry a watermelon around for 9 months, morning sickness, sore boobs, loose her tight ass. Plus her vagina will never be the same after squeezing out the watermelon. My god a pregnant woman really deserves a martini, and yet even thats denied to her!

6. Boobs. Yes I know you're thinking "Shouldn't that be listed on the Pro's?
But the thing is, unless you have those perfect full pert ones (usually only created by silicon not God) then you're overlooked. Too small chest= lame, sad and uninteresting. Over large chest= happy stupid hot bimbos. Again another no win situation.

7. Competition. There are so so sooooo many beautiful, pretty, stunning, flashy women out there. It's hard to be noticed or even seen when there's so much more choices for men. And yes I'm not saying there are not handsome men out there too but just look at a nightclub for instance. There's always hundreds of these decked out babes and maybe 4 or 5 decent looking men. Hate to cut it to you, but women are just the hotter breed of humans.

8. We age quicker. With stress, dna weirdness, or just cuz the universe wants to punish us, it clinically proven women age faster then men. So that's why all those douchbag old bachelors can leave their wife so they can screw their secretary...I get it now.


Okay I could keep going for an hour but I guess to save myself for ending my girl life I'll do the Pro's

PROS:
1. Affection issue. We can be lovey dovey, touchy, emotional, and open with feelings without being scared we look soft or mushy. We can hold hands, link arms or even make out with chicks and still not be termed Gay. Especially since men usually encourage girl on girl type shit ahahaha

2. Sleepovers. We can gossip and go crazy and sleep with our friends in the same bed and there is nothing wrong or awkward about it

3. Feeling sexy. Yes men can look good or dress up to a certain extent and feel good about themselves. In other words become a cocky rooster. But there's something about getting dressed up for a woman that just isn't the same. When you're skin is smooth and sleek, and you've got that tight dress and low sparkling necklace on your collar bone. When you slide youself into those sinfully high heels and pull your long velvet hair over your shoulder, you know you look good.

4. Smartness. Yupp. Sorry but it's a scientific fact women are 70% more driven and smarter in school, and bonus we have intuiton! Suck on that cavemen.

5. Titanic. Or the sympathy vote. When shit goes down like the Titanic, who was unloaded to safety first? Yes that's right "Woman and children first!"
Booyah!

Other than that though, I'm afraid being a man would just easier. However I guess it's a good thing I'm a lez cause there's nothing further I would want to be than a boy hahah.