I shouldn't have to hurt this much

I a weird homework assignment today. But considering it's for my shrink, i think it's expected to be weird. And by weird I mean so damn personal and slamming into your heart like a slab of meat weird. On this daily chart I had to write down simple situations, things I encountered over the day, things like "I had a rough day at work after a few impatient customers," or "a good friend left the country today" very objective just simple overview of what happened to me. Then on the bar beside it, I had to write "The depressive thoughts" or the things I felt or associated or attached to these simple situations. Seems simple enough right?
Wrong.
I got a glimpse into my mind in the most violated way.
I saw just how scary it was. In black and white.
A bad day at work changed to- My life is going to be a series of dead end jobs. I will die miserable and bitter. I am worth nothing.
Another friend who I cared about leaving became- I am alone. I am never enough. I am a stepping stone for other people's successes. I don't want this particular life.

Each one she looked, her voice reading them aloud.  So monotone and objective, those dramatic feelings came out like someone reading a bad play. It was like someone reading your diary aloud, in every way it felt humiliating. But more than that. The way she really looked at them, and would tut or say, "Oh Christina...." and her eyes would look at me. Like she was a mother, giving me the space to feel them, not commenting, but her eyes allowing me to hurt.
I cried.
Thickly.
"It doesn't have to be this hard. I mean this-", she held the papers up, -"this is too much pain darling. I mean I'm glad you only wrote down one a day. My god each one is a whole story on its own."

I don't know my next step. She says I have to get over my fears and take some prescriptions. That they can help. Everything inside me screams no, is adverse to drugs and how the pharmaceutical system with all its fucked up antibiotics and side affects killed part of my health in the first place.

But I don't know. Maybe she's right.
I shouldn't have to hurt this much....