Never Fucking Forget that.

Attention. And Affection. That is all we all want. That is all we all need. But there is a purity to both which HAS to exclude the ego. Which does not allow for it to participate. That is, if you want the good stuff, and not the tainted from- a -third- party- which- needs -to- be- checked- for - additives-kind of thing.

Everything, and I mean everything that drives us as humans boils down to that- attention, and affection. It's when we try and involve the ego that everything becomes tangles, tortured, twisted, painful, instead of open, loving, giving, pure, and well....raw.

Let me clarify, when I say attention, I mean more than that whiney voice we all hear, "Pay attention to me!" (and for some reason its always some drunk blonde white girl voice). I mean recognition. Recognition of who you are, what you have to offer, and mostly just your, for lack of a better word- Spirit. We all want to feel like we matter. In a world full of meaningless drives and empty promises we want to feel like we still are worth something. That we deserve to be more than a number in a statistic, or a grade on a paper, or story in someone's joke. That as an individual like no other, we should, no deserve the recognition of being like no other. That we have substance, and that we have gumption, and that we have damn heart and its worth seeing. It's worth sharing. It's worth being recognized. So when I say attention, I really mean recognition. Because lets be honest, as a social being, we want to feel special, and also to acknowledge that in others. I mean, that's what friendship really is after all.

That brings me to number two. Affection. And when I say affection most will immediately think lovers, sex, cuddle. etc. which of course is part of it. But in reality, its so SO much bigger than that. Affection is just the expression for what we can only really narrow down to the word "Love".  But there are so many forms of in which we hold people in a light of affection, from parent to child, from sibling to sibling, from friends to friends, from counselors to those that hurt, from student to teachers, from devotees to mentors, and yes from lovers to lovers. Affection though isn't even really a separate entity from attention, because they both seed and stem from each other. They are both the mother and the daughter.

Take the lovers example. What is it that makes us attract to another person? That makes us go after them rather than another? We first- whether is physical appeal, or a personal trait, or emotional link- just we recognize SOMETHING in that person. Whether it's their ridiculous laugh, their quirky way of dancing, or just the way they fidget knowing your eyes are on them.

But you recognize that spark. That fire. That substance in them, that makes them, to you- completely unique. And beautiful. And in that awareness that you've found that, that you've found this amazing person that for some reason goddamn reason every stupid person on the planet hasn't fully appreciated, stems affection. From there comes the need to protect, and cherish, and just freaking be a part of that beauty which this person has.
Is.
And when you find that someone who thinks the same way about you, feels the same way in general, wants to adore you just as much as you them, then the world just clicks. Everything jagged fades, because you have aligned. And when it's raw, its raw. But if its two open hearts, then thats just two stronger beats. And there is nothing that can break that. Nor drown it out. Nor make it waver.

I recently heard a break up story from a buddy of mine, who from the outside shell or spark notes of what he told me, it sounded like a very painful and tortured experience. But when he went more into details, when he really started from start to finish, I really understood. It was fast and thick love, the kind where people are so open that they are saying I love you's after a few weeks and planning on moving in after a month. And he was such a sweet, dear, genuine person, with all the right intentions, and a wide open heart, and well- she filled that need. But like I said it takes TWO open hearts. For although she may have rushed into his open arms, she was not ready to open her own. And when someone curls in, the more you try to pry them open, the tighter they will retract. And that is pretty much what happened in their relationship. But I asked. I had to.
"When you finally found her, after searching that whole 3 days at the festival, what happened?"
"I mean when I finally found her campsite and she saw me coming, man....."

He does not even have to finish the sentence. In fact I don't really remember how he did. The point is, he didn't have to. Because even as outsider, I can feel that wave of perfection from here. I can feel that beauty, that affection, that click, that gaze, that explosion of love from this far beyond time and space. And but god does it feel overwhelmingly......good. And even if things turned sour, for reasons that may be obvious in this, or obscure in others,  just to taste that, just to experience that level of joy, even for a bit...its worth everything.

There is a soul pleasing satisfaction in both the knowing, understanding, and mutual sharing of an open heart. The knowing being that we all want, we all need those two things. Attention. And Affection. And when you find those amongst us who feel the same way, who know this secret, well I tell ya, you fucking hold on to them. For they are both your protector and protected at the same time my friend. Never fucking forget that.