The Hell I call vacation

I have vomited, peed, cried, bawled, shivered, sweated, and generally died in these past 10 days in what I loving refer to as the hell I call vacation.

Sorry, getting ahead of myself. Remember how I said I was going to convocation? Well I did, or rather I didn't really.

I left Vancouver on the 3rd and went to Encinitas, a small coastal down in southern Cal. It was beyond beautiful. The sun hot, the ocean spectacular, and they energy sweet. Even the air breathed. Spent four days there with a family friend so it was kind of awkward but he left of the second night so I had the whole pad to myself. I thought I'd be scared or lonely but it was just the opposite. I've never had so much peace or so much fun in my life. I slept in, ate with my hands and my feet up, had ridiculously long showers, chilled all day at the beach, walked around town, and did whatever the fuck I wanted. My version of bliss. Plus I met some cool people, a surfie neighbor and his wife, a guy on the beach who lent me a bike and took me around the city. I did smoke alittle pot cuz everyone here kept offering me some so I did break my pot fast.

All in all it was fantastic. And then Covocation happened. And for some reason I already had this sixth sense something wasn't right. I met up with this old freind Sam (who I really had a crush on and he blew me off for some big boobed chick) for a ride up to LA. It was weird and stilted talking at first and I was glad two more girls were getting a ride with us to ease the tension. Driving I tried talking to the girls. But they were tight, close. I guess what I'm trying to say is that they weren't really open to me, like too clicky and all that bullshit to even want to allow me into their group. I was soooo fucking pissed because in my mind thats exactly what I had come to Convocation to get away from, that superficial sunblock people wear now. So I tried to just chill and relax. But then Sam kept yarning away about his hot girlfriend and about looks in general. I was thinking I was overreacting to my dislike to these girls when Bina (the brunette) said with total seriousness said, "Yeah me and Bina are going to be the hottest girls at Convocation."  Yupp I officially hate you.

 Like can you believe that? We're going to spiritual gathering and she has the arrogance and ego to say that? I must of had a very incredulous look on my face because her friend Tasha (the blonde) said, "Well we're just saying...."

I ran out of that car when we got there. I got to my hostel room across the city (which was a cheap shithole to make a long sotry short). Met up with friend Matt (the friend who visited from earlier blog). over the next two days I tried to immerse myself into the spiritual stuff but was having fights with Matt lot and it was making it difficult to concentrate or even feel open.

Then it happened. To go through fast motion I'll just get it all out. One night was walking, got the shivers so bad couldn't walk. Matt carried me back. Had 104 fever. Threw up. Shivers again. Fever. Threw up again. Threw up some more. Spent two days dying then decided to go hosipital. I cried and cried and cried my eyes started getting an infection. More fever. More throw up bags. It was terrifying. I thought I was going to die constantly. They finally diagnosed me with bladder and kidney infections.

I got well enough to leave the hosipital and now here I am. Nevada city Cali with with my sis to recover. I cannot believe my luck, or karma, or whatever the fuck it is that made me this violently ill DURING the spiritual week which I planned paid and prepared for a year ago. Most of the time I try not to hate God or blame the universe for my misfortune, because in truth most of the time I just want to cry. This is one of those moments.