I am a little confused. And scared.
Life is so big and overwhelming sometimes, then so personal and so beautiful the next.
I have some big decisions to face soon. Where to live. If I will stay with my partner despite distance. What passion to pursue for my career. Where to go to school. How I will afford it. If I can manage to stay on the path outside of my ashram. Most importantly, will I survive or overcome this depression which has been part of my life for so long. It stuns me and humbles me that I have been here for so long and yet I still feel like I need to stay even when I have to leave. Leave.Wow. This beautiful place where I may not have fully given myself to God, but at least felt like I am becoming more of who I really am. Whatever that is I hope she will stick around for me through this very chaotic and unknown part of my life. I have to own who I am and take charge of my life. I have to stop being a back seat driver in my life. I need to lovingly self discipline myself to take advantage of my time here on this planet.
No comments:
Post a Comment